Lakers sign Theo Ratliff

Basketball Betting Lines

07/22/2010 - El Segundo, CA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Los Angeles Lakers added depth to their frontcourt on Thursday by signing veteran center Theo Ratliff.

The Los Angeles Times reports it's a one-year deal for the veteran's minimum of $1.35 million.

The 37-year-old Ratliff, entering his 16th NBA season, averaged 5.1 points, 4.2 rebounds and 1.5 blocked shots in 28 games for the Charlotte Bobcats last season. He started the season with San Antonio and averaged 1.6 points and 1.9 boards in 21 contests with the Spurs.

"I've had a long and very rewarding career, and joining a storied and legendary franchise such as the Lakers adds an even more special element," Ratliff said. "I look forward to playing for Coach (Phil) Jackson and with great players such as Kobe (Bryant), Derek (Fisher), Pau (Gasol), Lamar (Odom), Ron Artest, Andrew Bynum and all my other new teammates, and hopefully to helping the Lakers win a third straight championship."

Originally selected by the Detroit Pistons in the first round of the 1995 NBA Draft (18th overall), Ratliff has twice been named to the NBA All-Defensive Second Team (1999 and 2004) and has led the league in blocked shots three times (2000-01, 2002-03 and 2003-04).

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FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

NFL Football Trash Talk

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.